I took a leave of absence from work because things are so insane in my life. I have one month to get "better". I wanted to much to just quit my job but that wasn't really a good idea. So I took a leave. My leave ends on the 23rd of October. By then I need to be medicated correctly so that I can make the right choices under the right influence. By the. I need to have my life in order enough to keep my job if that's my choice. I must be healthy enough to keep my job should that be my choice. And I must have my "me" back. So starting tomorrow I have to start making that happen. Cross your fi hers for me ladies. I might need all the luck I can get. I plan on updating daily, even if it's just one sentence. Things I need to fix:
1. Get a psychiatrist and get the right "cocktail" to medicate myself
2. Figure out my job situation, keep it or lose it.
3. Somehow manage to exercise daily, even if it's just a little bit
4. Eat right and get my eating issues under control (ie I have struggled for years on and off with bulimia, unfortunately it's back) so I must get that I under control.
5. Learn to accept my flaws but to be realistic about what I'm supposed to look like.
6. Find as much of me as I can in a month. <--probably won't find all of me but must find some of me.
So who's with me?? We all have things we want to change. Want to reach for those goals with me?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
One Month to Better Day 1
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Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI admire your raw honestly and also am very sad to see you struggle with yourself. But know, as old as I am, I still struggle with some of the same issues you struggle with. I sometimes think if only my father had loved me enough, then I could love and value myself as a person or if only my mom didn't die when I was young, then life might be prefect now. I wish I can give you some kind of word or wisdom to left you from your funk....but I know its not that simple. I'm think of you. Hope things get better soon.
*left/ lift
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words and support. I know that sometimes we can't pull our friends from their funks but we can support them as they go through them and that's just as good as helping force them out of a funk. So I appreciate the support. It's nice to know there are people out there wanting you to be better even when you don't feel like you ever will be. :)
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