Spiraling, New Meds and Misc

So I went to the psychiatrist the other day and he had me on a bevy of new drugs. We've left "normal" drugs behind and are now onto "serious" drugs. One of the new ones is one of two drugs (the other being Lithium) that can help with my issue in a specific way that I don't quite understand but it's this drug and Lithium that does this special thing. LITHIUM! LITHIUM. It scares the hell out of me. I mean lithium is, like, a real drug! How did I get this bad? And of course now I'm dealing with changing my meds while trying to survive life and the few things I have to deal with (a stupid online course that I'm afraid I'm going to fail). Honestly, I'm terrified of the next steps in the process. And not only am I on this wanna be Lithium, I'm also on Prozac now, I mean how bad can I be if Prozac isn't enough?? And don't forget the new sleeping drugs and the anti-anxiety pills that don't quite work as I've had to triple the dose today and it's not doing much. And yet with that arsenal I still feel like I'm spiraling out of control, which could actually be a temporary side effect of the wanna-be Lithium. And this drug, the side effects are wierd! One is a rare rash that could kill you, one is the panic attacks (WTF? Shouldn't it be helping those) and one, this one is scary, is that it creates suicidal tendencies! WTF?!? are you kidding me?? And I live alone. How do I know if I get that side effect, that I'll be able to stop myself if the drugs have convinced me that I want to kill myself? Then it's up to me to stop myself and if the drugs have created the urge, can I pull through the drugs to stop the urge?? I'm afraid of this new drug. That beg said I
MUST learn to trust my doctor when he says this is the best drug for longterm with the least side effects. God I hope so... Please let this spiral go away and the meds to make it all ok and not worse. Please please please....
That'd all my news on the BP adventure.